It's Always Harder, and Always Takes Longer

2-Minute Read

There’s a common realization many have as they begin working towards large goals in life: the process is always harder, and always takes longer, than we thought it was going to.

We’ve all been there, whether it’s running a marathon, building a career, or balancing training with family and work—things rarely go the way we think they will. 

But why is this? And more importantly, what can we learn from it?

The Reality of Hard Work

The first lesson here is to recognize that things are often harder and take longer than expected—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. In fact, this is the reality of any meaningful pursuit. When we set out to achieve something worthwhile, we know it won’t be easy.

But what we fail to account for is how difficult it actually is to push through the challenges. We forget how long it takes to build the necessary habits, to make progress, to deal with setbacks, and to push through when we feel like we’re not making the strides we hoped for. In reality, we may know that things are going to be difficult, but we don’t know what difficult truly feels like until we’re in it. And that feeling isn’t always something we can plan for. 

Struggling through something hard is just part of the process. It’s not something to overcome and then be done with—it is a constant variable when doing anything worthwhile.

Expectation vs. Reality: Managing Perception

Here is the real lesson: managing expectations and perception is everything.

When things feel harder and take longer than we thought, it is a result of our expectations, and our expectations alone. When we set ourselves up with an unrealistic idea of how things are going to go, we are creating a comparison point that makes reality feel “worse” than it actually is. The truth is, reality just is—it’s neither good nor bad. It simply exists. The discomfort, the struggle, the exhaustion, and the frustration we feel we're always part of the reality. What makes it seem unbearable is the false comparison we’ve created in our minds about what it “should’ve” felt like.

If we can learn to adjust our perception—to expect that it will be harder, that setbacks are a given, and that progress takes time—then struggling through hard work becomes part of the process, rather than a detour. When we embrace the fact that it will take longer and be more difficult than anticipated, we stop fighting the reality. We stop labeling it as "bad" and simply accept it as the natural flow of the journey.

Building Resilience Through Reality

This shift in perception is what leads to resilience.

When we expect hard work, and then encounter that hard work, we aren’t surprised. We aren’t thrown off track by the difficulties. Instead, we can continue, knowing that the difficulty isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign of progress.

Growth isn’t linear, and the moments when we feel like we’re struggling the most are the very moments that are shaping our future success. So let's plan for it, and appreciate it. 

Wrap it Up

The next time you find yourself struggling or feeling like things aren’t progressing as fast as you’d like, remember this: it was always going to be this hard. Reality isn’t “bad.” Reality always was what it was. Accepting this, and learning to work with it, is power - you’re on your way to building the resilience, the skills, and the mental toughness to get through it.

With this mindset, we can build a routine we love and train consistently. Because with consistency, we build passion.