A Response for Every Family Member Who Says: "You Run Too Much"

WARNING: This article is sarcastic, sassy, and routinely offensive. If you use any of these phrases to respond to annoying family members, don't blame us for ruining Thanksgiving dinner. 

Now let's get into it.  

Mom

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes and you cooked this turkey too much.

Dad

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Seriously Dad? Are you still upset I majored in communications?

Brother

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes but your hair is already receding.

Sister

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes but Mom loves me more.

Aunt

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Look, we all know that dessert you brought is store bought.

Uncle

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes but you've had more beers than I've had miles.

Cousin #1

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: I run like it's my job. By the way, are you still unemployed?

Cousin #2

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes and I'm surprised you didn't take up running during that prison time. I bet the food there was better than this dinner though.

Cousin #3

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Thank you. You know, it might be time for you to consider online dating.

Grandma

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Yes and you should no longer be driving.

Grandpa

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: Can you even hear anything?

Estranged Family Member

Backhand at dinner: "You run too much."

Answer: I thought for sure that wedding 4 years ago was the last time I'd see you.

There you have it.

Happy Thanksgiving from Long Run Coffee. Black Friday is tomorrow.